19 Oct 2012

Braving the outside world


So this is a post that people may be able to relate too. It is all to do about how having Fibromyalgia makes you feel isolated, and also afraid to face the world.

Since I got diagnosed in February this year, and was told that I could not work any longer, I lost my idependence I wouldn't leave the house alone. This is mainly to do with parents being protective for my health. It wasn't until anout August I realised I hadn't been out on my own for over 6months. I hadn't even realised that I had been living in a bubble.
 So in August I decided to go out, only a 20minute walk to the post office and back. Sounds easy enough, but I was petrified. What if something happened? What if someone asked me about my cane? What if I can't  do it? So many 'What if's?' for such an every day task, but it was then that I realised how I had  gained a fear of leaving my house, my safe place.

I did it though, I went for that walk, I made sure I was comfortable. I made sure I had my phone incase I needed help, I had my cane to help me feel steady and I did it!

So other the next few months I dug myself back into my house, my safe place until this week!
I have now received my disabled persons bus pass , which mean I can go anywhere on the bus for free. Which is a fantastic thing to have for days when I feel rough I don't have to walk places, and it opens up a whole new load of job's I can apply for and not worry about travel costs.

 This week I have been on the bus 3 times which felt good, I feel like I getting my independence back.

Yesterday I walked from my boyfriends into town, went into shops, brought things, dealt with the awkwardness of trying to carry things and do things with one hand, and most of all,  It felt good. I was happy to be out the house and doing things on my own without having someone worry about me.

I was so happy with myself that I even took a photo of myself!

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