well I think most people know that 2012 has not been a good year for me, being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, coming to terms with my illness, trying to find medication that will work, losing my job, and all the other things that come with having a Chronic condition.
But I feel (through all the ranting) that I have come a long way this year and have still done a few pretty cool things too!
The beginning of the year was most likely the worse period. Learning about Fibromyalgia and how to live with it. It became my life, it depressed me and I was so so angry at the world. I got told I probably wouldn’t be able to go back to my job in the nursery, which broke my heart, I cried for days at this realisation (and it still stings a little now).
I also got my walking stick/cane around this time. I was petrified and embarrassed to use it. I was 19 and walking with a cane. I’ve grown since then and now I have no shame in my stick, I still get funny looks but I laugh them off most the time. My stick has given me confidence and lets me go out and do things I couldn’t do without it to support me.
Then in April I showed my body that even if it was against me, I would still get out there and do the things I wanted. Going to London to see Frank Turner was the most amazing experience. I was lucky to get my standing tickets changed to seated and although I missed the FTHC meet up before because I needed to rest, I still got to meet Valerie just before the gig :-D and also after the gig me and Ben saw Beans on toast do a street gig which was crazy! Then we went to London Zoo the day after as I have a hippo there that I have adopted, it was an amazing day and even with all the pain and exhaustion, I am so happy that I went and did it and showed that I am still able.
In August, Benjamin took me the lake district for my birthday weekend which was amazing and totally worth it. We had so much fun, I had learnt by then how much my body could take and how to deal with pain. It was such a gorgeous weekend.
In June I took a HUGE step for me and I left the house on my own for the first time in 6 months, only to the local post office. But since then I have gained so much confidence I have gotten the bus to town and been shopping on my own and although it can still scare me sometimes, the fear has shrunk so much.
The rest of the year has nearly blurred into one, of doctors appointments, numerous medication trials and being housebound. I left my job in October after months of sick leave, and am fighting against the benefits system now.
The main thing I am proud of this year is starting my ‘Chronically Crafty’ blogs, facebook page/twitter and most recently my Etsy shop. Although I am still only starting to get into becoming a health activist, I feel like I have done so much already. I have a big interest on all my pages and blogs and the numbers of supporters are still growing which gives me so much motivation to carry on helping people and spreading awareness of chronic pain conditions.
So overall this year has not been a great one, but it has had it’s amazing moments, and I can still think back on moments this year and smile, and be grateful of what I have got and what I’ve done.
Finally a HUGE thank you to everyone one of my followers for being there for me when I’ve needed help, thank you for listening to me and supporting me with my blogs and support pages. I am so so grateful that I have found all of you, and even though we may not have met you all mean so much to me.
Here’s to 2013 being a good year!