Though saying that, I made it through there are times in the last year where I thought I was going to give up and felt that I couldn't go on any longer, but I did and I have made it to today, this is proof that people can make it through that first horrible year of denial, fear, anger and depression due to the pain and the huge changes that have to be made to accommodate to this illness.
I have had to get through a lot of changes in the past year, some of which I thought I'd never get over. I had to leave my job at the Nursery because my body could not keep up with the demands of my role, I was heartbroken because I had found a job I loved and was good at. I also had to accept that I wasn't like a normal 20 year old, I wouldn't be able to spontaneously decide to have a night out and other things that my friends did. I had to get used to counting my spoons (check out the spoon theory here) and planning days ahead , then being prepared to cancel last minute if my body wouldn't allow. The biggest thing was getting used to walking with a walking stick, it took me months to accept using it, and even now I have the odd day's where I get paranoid about using it.
I don't really know how to sum the year up, I mean yeah sure it sucked a lot of the time but I also did some pretty cool things. The highlights was being able to Frank Turner at Wembley , going to London Zoo to see my adopted Hippo and being taken away for my Birthday to the Lake District. I had other awesome day's out and other things happen too that shine through all the rough days.
Now for positive things and goals for the next year:
- After this year I have lost friends, found out who really cares about me, but I have gained some amazing new friends in real life and then there's the fantastic community I have found on Tumblr,twitter and facebook who are all there for me through the good and the roughest times.
- I have the most amazing family and boyfriend who have been by my side throughout it all, supporting me and catching me when I fall. I could not imagine how I would have got through all this without them being there for me, So I guess I can squeeze a HUGE thank you to them in here!
- I have found so much inspiration and hope in doing this blog and all the other Chronically Crafty pages. I live on helping other people and there seemed like no better way to help than to share my experiences with living with a chronic illness. And all I have gotten back are positive messages and all my pages have come so far and I can't wait to see my little community grow more as I continue to develop them.
- My body is getting so much stronger and after a year I am able to walk a fair distance without my walking stick, which is fantastic. This has given me the motivation and today I signed up for the 5km race for life to give me the motivation to strengthen my body more for this summer!
From now onwards I know I'm still going to have very tough challenging days, but I know now that I can get through them because I have made it through the past year. I hope that things will pick up now, I have a few opportunities in the pipelines and I am very exited about a lot of things.
So here is to another less sucky year to come!
Thank you for reading