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6 Apr 2013

HAWMC Day 6 – Letters


 Write a letter to your condition – what do you want to get off your chest?

Dear Fibromyalgia, 

I've written to you before but I want to think now that you've been around for more than a year officially I am in a better place and a bit more to grips with you.
  Recently I've been looking back at old photo's, blog posts and journals from about 4 years ago, and I was shocked to see how ill I was then. I was fatigued and exhausted all the time, with constant migraines and  random aches and pains everywhere. At the time I think we put it down to being a teenager but now looking back at it all I wonder was it you making an appearance earlier than I thought? I've always slept a lot even from a very young age I would crash out in the weirdest of places all the time and my joints have always creaked and cracked for as long as I can remember so I am getting quite convinced that I have had you longer than I first thought.
  If that is the case and I've had you for more than the two year's I'd originally thought, I have done well. I had an amazing childhood and my teenage years, were rough but I definitely had some good times despite your early appearance. What I am getting at is that although you are worse than you've ever been at the moment I have struggled with your symptoms for a long time and I have proved that with chronic pain and fatigue I can still have amazing times and make unforgettable memories!
  I always worry that I am not doing all the things a 20 year old does, but really I need to recongise all the amazing things I can do with a chronic illness. Anyone can go out and get drunk, but it takes an incredably strong person to get up every morning and to be thankful for every little thing that makes them happy whilst fighting against a life stealing illness.You may hold me back and you throw all this crap at me that I do not deserve, but you are not going to steal my life away from me, I am more determined than ever to make myself happy and to make everyday count.
  So thank you Fibro, you have made me into a better person, you have made me stronger than I ever thought possible and you have made me into the most kick-arse twenty year old I've ever known!

From
The girl whose body you've consumed but not taken
Jayne
xx

4 comments:

  1. I love this ! I just found ur blog and it is wonderful !! I am 22, Ive been in chronic pain for about 6 months now...undiagnosed but was told by two doctors it is possibly fibro.
    It is absolutely wonderful to have people MY AGE talking about this !
    None of my friends here where I live understand. I am so happy to know I am not alone. Its like ur words echo my struggles.
    Keep up the awesome blog girl !! *hugs*

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    1. Thank you so much, comments like yours make my day, it is so nice to know I am helping at least one person out there.
      I am so sorry about your pain, If you need anyone to talk to I am here, just go to the 'Where to find me' link at the top of the page and I am available to chat through any of those, and would love to help you out.
      Take care and keep strong, you are not alone in this *hugs* x

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  2. Jayne,
    I'm so proud of you! I've been following you for about a year now, and I am impressed by your determination to be positive.
    Thank you for sharing your ups and downs on Tumblr, Facebook, and blogs. When I submitted my disability claim, I didn't feel alone, because you shared your experience.
    Thanks for introducing me to Frank Turner's music! His words and music have been an inspiration to remain strong.
    Cheers!
    Katharina

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    1. Thank you so much, this comment has made me so happy. I am so glad I have been able to help you, that's all I ever hope is that my posts and experiences help people see that they are not alone in all this, because it is scary.
      And I am so happy you found Frank Turner through me, he is an amazing musician and his lyrics really reach out to me too.
      Take care and remember you are never alone , I'm always around for a chat .Jayne xx

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